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Sunday, March 12, 2006
tis week has been a terrible, horrible n vegetable week....
i've nvr been so miserable b4... 4 e whole week... i tink i gonna expect more 2 come.... more stress, more burden and more responsibilty....
i suddenly feel tt i'm a grown-up..no longer young... gonna b independent.. n not act like a child anymore.... there's so much things 4 me 2 do...currently, my mum is hospitalised, i hav 2 take care some household chores, such as gg mkt, prepare food, tidy e hse...currently actin as a part-time hsewife...
i'm even bombarded wif schoolwork n cca thingy... i'm gettin lethargic...sometimes i jus hope i can sleep 4 a whole day n don't bother abt anythin... but can i? NOPE, i cant... i need 2 b responsible.. last time.. i always chat wif my mum, e happy n unhappy events.. talk 2 her almost anythin under e sun.she will jus give me advices n console me... now.. i hav 2 keep most of e things 2 myself cause i dun wanna her 2 b worried abt me.. i dun wanna add 2 her burden, she's so worried of e report which yet 2 b out... which i dun wanna noe...evryday, i hav 2 rush 2 hospital 2 visit my mum n prepare food 4 her...
all my worries, all e anxiety, all e tiredness r kept inside me...it's so torturing...i jus wanna talk 2 some1 n let me cry my hearts out... i hav 2 force myself 2 put up a brave front, tt i can handle and smile 2 all challenges tt i gonna face, but actually i cant... not all at 1 go...i tink i'm too dependent on my mum... she used 2 give me advices on evythin...almost evrynight, i can hear my heartbeat frm my ears... it is not a good sign..means tt my heart is beatin at a faster rate... haha..mayb 1 day i gonna get heart attack n die... hu noes...
suddenly i feel tt is time 4 me 2 grow up... my parents r gettin old.. in a few years time, i gonna enter e workforce... it's time 4 me to grow up...i gotta tink maturedly, gotta act sensibily...
gonna b responsible 4 wad i've done... gonna act more like a young lady...
Be Strong!!! u can do it!!! b confident of urself!!!
Sunday, March 12, 2006